4 Steps to a Better Sunday

Friends, Sunday has long been one of my favorite days, and I realized I may be in the minority on that. I say, what’s not to love about Biblically-mandated feasting and relaxation?

For those with not enough feasting and relaxation in their lives, I wrote an article for Catholic Stand called 4 Steps to a Better Sunday, which you can also read below. Mark you calendar - I’ll be joining the Morning Air radio show on Friday, August 30 at 7:15 am to talk with John and Glen about this. You can stream and listen live on your phone or iPad here. In the meantime - what are you doing to observe the Sabbath? Yes, having a cookout and drinking a beer with neighbors counts.

Enjoy!

4 Steps to a Better Sunday

In college, I learned the phrase “the Sunday scaries.” It means that feeling of dread on Sunday night as Monday morning approaches, with its threat of work, meetings, overdue homework, tests, and all the unwelcome results of procrastination. With this train of thought, Sunday night symbolizes the end of fun and freedom for the next five days.  Sound familiar?

Ultimately, God chose the Sabbath to be a day of rest – His day – when we, as His children, are to enjoy Him, each other, and give thanks for all that He has given us. I believe a Sunday well spent is not only the cure for “the Sunday scaries” but for the Monday morning blues as well!  When Sunday is properly-ordered, the rest of the week follows.

“Christians celebrate the Sunday because it is the day of the Lord’s Resurrection and the beginning of the new creation. Catholics are obliged to participate in the celebration of the Eucharist on Sundays and to devote the remainder of the day to rest, relaxation, spiritual reflection and activities that are consonant with this.” [United States Catechism for Adults, US Conference of Catholic Bishops, 2006, p.529]

Here are a few things you and your family can do to not only give proper reverence to the Sabbath, but to set yourself on a course for a happy and holy week.

Extra time for prayer

On Sunday mornings, I intentionally set aside extra time for prayer, first thing in the morning. I structure my time to include my usual, daily prayer practice and anything extra I feel called toward. This could include a rosary, a meditation with the day’s Scripture, or an Ignatian-style colloquy with God. Or it could be meditating on the life of a saint, practicing Lectio Divina, or spending time praying for someone else’s intentions.

The key thing here is to have a willing heart. Understandably, sometimes prayer is hard because the world and our lives are full of distraction. But prayer should never be rote, even in times of spiritual desolation. Instead, it is good to come to God sincerely, with the true concerns and needs on our heart and the trust that He hears. Otherwise, if approached as work, it is more difficult for the grace of prayer to work in our lives.

The fruit of this time spent in extra prayer is contentment, peace, and the knowledge that God is near. What better day than Sunday to not only be open to these graces, but to actively welcome them!

Enjoy Catholic content

When I was young I remember reading the Little House on the Prairie series and feeling awed by the austerity of the Ingalls family’s Sunday observances. No cooking, no playing, and the only reading could come from the Bible.  I think cooking and playing are critical components of a Sunday well spent.  And while reading from the Bible is commendable (and should be done every day of the week), it need not be your only resource on Sunday. Truly, there is an abundance of Catholic content to read, watch, and listen to in order to set Sunday apart as a holy day.

For example, many churches are now sponsoring Formed for their parishioners. Formed is a free app with Catholic movies, podcasts, audio books and special content for kids.  It is  perfect to put on while getting ready for church, cooking dinner, or simply spending time together as a family. Formed offers information on everything from the lives of the saints to deep dives into theological debates from well-known speakers.  But Formed is just one example of one-stop-shop Catholic entertainment.

Other ways you can consume Catholic content on Sunday: you can listen to Relevant Radio, which has a streaming service where you can listen live, for free.  Or try a podcast like the informative and hilarious conversations of Fr. Anthony and Fr. Harrison on Clerically Speaking. CNA Newsroom has become a personal favorite.  And I never miss Bishop Robert Barron’s weekly homilies.

Netflix, Amazon Prime and other streaming services also have plenty of religiously themed movies – all you have to do is search! By the way, none of these things requires a TV – all are accessible on a phone, a tablet, a notebook, or a laptop.

Practice hospitality

Sunday is a day for feasting, whether that’s at breakfast, a big, post-Mass brunch, or a delicious dinner at home. If you come from a family where the shared Sunday meal is a tradition, congratulations – you already know how fun this is. And if you don’t have this tradition, congratulations – you get to start a tradition of your own choosing!

The Sunday meal is not about indulging for its own sake.  The Sunday meal is an opportunity to slow down, connect over conversation, and share your blessings (a bountiful table) with others.

Which brings me to my next point: a big meal is meant to be shared, and Sunday is the perfect opportunity. It can be argued that hospitality is a lost art, and one whose loss means fewer opportunities for real, human connection – so chronically needed today. I do not need to share statistics related to the loneliness epidemic (though it has been in the news).  Chances are, you’re already aware of how fractured our society is. Sunday dinner won’t solve this problem entirely, but it’s a little step any of us can take toward creating a more human-centered world.

No matter your age, consider welcoming family, friends, and neighbors into your home for a meal. If ‘full-on’ cooking is too much, tea and coffee are good, too. The important thing is to get together – to provide the opportunity for face-to-face connection. St. Benedict reminds us in his Rule, “All guests who present themselves are to be welcomed as Christ, for he himself will say: I was a stranger and you welcomed me.”

Do something for someone else

Jesus always calls us to be of service to others, to “Love one another as I have loved you,” (John 13:34), and what better way to honor our Creator than to serve those created in His image. Volunteering or giving back is not just good for those served, it’s good for our own souls – an opportunity to be grateful for our blessings, to meet new, like-minded people, and maybe to learn a little about ourselves.

When setting out to find a volunteer opportunity, there are a few things to keep in mind. Two important points to consider are what type of service you would like to engage with, and whether you want to do so by yourself or with family and friends. I mention this because service for service’s sake is a bit empty; God calls us to use our gifts for others.

So, if serving breakfast at a soup kitchen is not your favorite thing, that’s okay.  Maybe you are more suited to a pro-life knitting group or a group gardening activity. Also, if you see a need but no immediate volunteer listing available, be proactive. Reach out and offer your own expertise to your parish.  When looking for an opportunity, your parish is a great place to start. You can also check the volunteer listings at your local Catholic Charities.

Remember the Sabbath, keep Sunday holy

Are there other things you could do to live Sunday more intentionally? How about spending time in nature; devoting time to the crafts and projects in your garage that you love but have put off; calling family members in other parts of the world; or instituting family game night? Remember the goal in all these activities is to do something different that sets Sunday apart as a special, holy day for fellowship – with others and with God.

Jean Vanier's 10 Rules for Life to Become More Human

In just a little bit I will be meeting up with members of L’Arche as my sweet friend Laurie, a core member, is celebrating her 5th year anniversary of joining the community. We are celebrating appropriately, with beers served at an Irish pub and enjoyed in the late summer sun, followed by dinner at her house. I have a small card for her and will probably bring some prosecco. I am also pleased to be wearing tie-dye and a long hippie skirt, and know none of these things actually matter in the grand scheme, because at L’Arche it seems possible to recognize the beauty of people for who they are, not for what they do or bring.

I have been transformed by this community and movement, you know. I am struck again and again at its universality, the true family feel of the movement, even when I am encountering it in other parts of the country (or world). When L’Arche’s founder, Jean Vanier, passed earlier this year, it gave me much to think about: about his witness, like John the Baptist, pointing toward what is true and good (Jesus). His humility (“I am not so much the founder, as simply the first to arrive”); the way he exemplified the Beatitudes and lived the Gospel. He was the rich young man, except he answered the call and gave up everything. And he devoted his life to helping others see and understand their own identity as loved by Christ.

I recently came across something that was published last fall after he turned 90. Vanier made a YouTube video called “10 Rules for Life to Become More Human.” “Becoming Human” is the name of one of his books, as well as his general message of the human condition: broken, but loved. Below are the ten rules:

1. Accept the reality of your body.

2. Talk about your emotions and difficulties.

3. Don’t be afraid of not being successful.

4. In a relationships, take the time to ask, “How are you?”

5. Stop looking at your phone - be present!

6. Ask people, “What is your story?”

7. Be aware of your own story.

8. Stop prejudice: meet people.

9. Listen to your deepest desire.

10. Remember that you’ll die one day.

I believe I could look back over this list at various times in life and be struck in different ways by each. Some may call out to you particularly today, but not at all next year, because something else will be in your heart that challenges. Today, for me, it is #7 - be aware of your own story. I read it and think, “Do I have a story? What right do I to have a story? Who would benefit from it, and why would anyone want to listen?” Well, refer to #6: perhaps someone wants to ask you, what is your story? What is your name, who is your mother, what is your favorite time of day, which side of the bed do you sleep on, waffle or cake cone, coffee or tea, summer or winter, left hand or right, how did you get here and who or what do you love more than anyone in the world?

Jean Vanier, pray for us.

More on abundance

A few weeks ago I had the pleasure of attending a fundraising workshop held at the Holy Name Passionist Retreat Center in Houston, TX. Houston: where houses (and driveways) are ginormous and small, earth-colored lizards act like they own the place (because they do, because they are ubiquitous, and they are probably already sitting on the bench you want to sit on. Too bad.).

During the workshop, which was led by the the brilliant team from the For Impact model of fundraising, we spent a bit of time learning about the “spirituality of fundraising.” Henri Nouwen wrote an excellent book of the same name. For Nouwen, fundraising is not a transaction, but an entering into relationship. It is a dance, a partnership, a give and take, of mutually transformative opportunity. One person has a mission; another has the opportunity to bring the mission to life and participate in its fruition. Together, both people walk toward a goal and share its outcomes. At the end, you give thanks to God for the cycle of ask, receive, create, and you start again.

For Impact as a model, however, is entirely practical (and this I like). There are a ton of incredible tips and pointers and behaviors we learned during the training, and I will share here two because of how I see them connected to the spiritual life.

1. Don’t make a decision for the donor. By this, we mean, do not assume a.) they cannot give because, for example, they give X amount somewhere else; or we assume, “they aren’t the giving type” (whatever that means); we know their bills are so high, so there’s no way they can give; they already have a favorite charity they are devoted to; and on and on.

2. Just ask.

Now, when contemplating the idea that God wants so much more for us than we can imagine (see theme of previous post), these two points are marvelous things to meditate upon. For God: do not make a decision for Him. Do not assume that he cannot give you as greatly as you need and desire, and so there is a necessity to settle - however that looks, and whatever it means for you in your life. Whether that’s in relationships, a desired career, a desired number of kids, a number of books sold or whatever the case is. How easily we assume that God gives in the small ways we can conceive of, and not on the grand, abundant scale in which he truly operates.

And returning to the point about prayer and abundance - just ask! Come to God in your prayer time with an ask, and ask again, and again. God does not hold out on us during prayer time to play games with us. He also does not ever tire of hearing from us. There is a story - if I can find it, I will share it - that St. Ignatius proudly said that during prayer, he came to Jesus with his arms out, asking like a spoiled child - and he meant it in the best way possible. Believe your Father hears you, and persist, and know that he wants to hear from you. Pray with hope, no matter how long it takes.

Don’t decide on God’s behalf how abundant he will be with you. And just ask.

By the way, even if you don’t see yourself as directly involved in any sort of fundraising, and therefore don’t need to understand, for example, the art of the ask - well, that’s not quite how it is, and you don’t get off that easily, you know. There are so many causes which need and deserve support, and there is no reason not to try your hand in aiding them. I imagine you know a ministry, a specific need, a neighborhood drive, a poor school doing great work, an intentional community in need of support. Why wouldn’t you be one to help? God put you on this planet after all, didn’t He? Being a part of the human family, and individually capable of effecting great change, it is not possible to opt out. If you do, the world misses your gifts. Here, now, we talk not just of asking or donating money, but of offering one’s non-monetary gifts, too. Invite a friend, write a poem, lead a prayer night, roll up your sleeves, rake leaves, can preserves, read a book to an elderly friend, knit a blanket, share a message, and on and on. Be the leaven in the movement that moves your heart. And believe in God’s abundance in every step of your life.