What was Mary's interior disposition during the crucifixion?
Laura DeMaria
A cheerful topic, I know! But it occurred to me during rosary this morning, praying the sorrowful mysteries. I ask it because we know, at least, that in the garden Jesus asked that, “…if it is possible, let this cup pass from me” (Matthew 26). Being a mother myself now, I have a whole other view of the passion narrative, as it takes place from Mary’s view. I think it can be understood she was there throughout, if she was there at the end, which we know she was (“Behold your mother”). Did she also ask God to “let this cup pass?” Did her sinless nature, and readiness to say “yes” to God, both things we know for certain, give her the ability to accept Jesus’s sufferings, even as she had to stand by and watch? Did she cry? Did she faint? Did she scream? It seems uncharacteristic to imagine her screaming, but that seems like a pretty reasonable reaction to watching one’s son murdered.
I think also about how, long before her son’s final moments, she watched him grow up, and he was always the Son of God, from the beginning. So she saw his extraordinariness from the beginning, and any other smaller persecutions along the way. How much did god reveal to her in prayer, about Jesus’s future? How much did Jesus himself share?
I have heard that tradition says that, after the resurrection, Jesus appeared to Mary first before anyone else, even though the Bible does not lay it out that way. But their bond was incredibly close and significant. I’d like to think there was likely a level of telepathy between them, a mutual understanding of each other and of each of their missions. And perhaps that made Jesus’s crucifixion less of a surprise than it was for the disciples or the world in general.
So, it is a question to ponder. What did Mary do during the passion? What did she say, how did she act? She was, after all, human. But then - imagine her joy on the other side of the resurrection, being reunited to her son in all his glory.
One last thought: I am beginning to get emails from Catholic companies, primarily publishers, saying things like, “Are you ready for Advent?” My answer is no, because that’s still a little ways away. Specifically, Advent this year starts on Sunday, November 29. That’s actually the Sunday after Thanksgiving and just over a month from now. But it does prompt me to begin thinking about it! In a future post I will share some practical ideas not just how to observe Advent, but how to approach and understand its meaning. In searching my own writing, it appears I have discussed this topic a fair amount. I do love that pre-Christmas time of year.