The trouble with Mary and Martha

It was a pleasure to be on Morning Air this morning, and I’ll share the audio when it’s up. Until then, I want to talk about the story of Mary and Martha, which I included in my article, Recognizing Jesus, and which, of all things, is generating the most comments online. Plus, it’s timely, since it is the story in today’s Gospel reading.

These are the comments on my article:

“Perhaps Mary did not decide to shrug off her duty, but rather was so drawn to the Lord that she simply forgot earthly things.”

“In ending, try that while driving a car.”

“The one obvious hypothetical here is that if Martha also decided to sit and listen there might have been no one to host the guests per custom, resulting in a serious breach of etiquette.”

“Martha’s only error was complaining. Those of us who find ourselves in Martha’s position can take comfort in the fact that not all necessary jobs are of equal value. Mary chose the better part, but someone also has to take the lesser jobs of cooking and cleaning, which are necessary components of hospitality. Even the choirs of angels are not all equal. Yet who would say that the guardian angels are not valuable because they are not seraphim?”

“It was my understanding and is possible that Martha and Mary were EQUALLY responsible for their guests and Mary decided to shrug off hers for the ‘better part’ in which case the complaint was valid though lacking in forbearance, eliciting Jesus’ conciliatory response.”

Here is why I think this hit a nerve. And, by the way, this is consistently one of the most challenging and misunderstood stories in the Bible. In retrospect, I wouldn’t have included it in my article because it is drawing people away from the larger point about why we don’t recognize Jesus, and how to recognize Jesus.

I think it hits a nerve that causes people to be defensive because it is so much easier - especially for women - to identify with Martha over Mary. Martha is, by all accounts, doing the right thing - she is taking care of her guests. Women like to cook, clean, organize, and invite, and yet Jesus states that her sister, Mary, who is doing none of these things - and indeed burdening Martha by apparently shirking her duties - has chosen “the better part.” So people get defensive and want to stand up for Martha, because chances are, they themselves would be doing the exact same thing in her situation.

But that’s my whole point, and why I included it in the story: this situation is different. They are not just entertaining anybody, they are entertaining the Son of God. And Mary recognizes that.

I have written and spoken many times about the role of the laity, and finding God in daily life. So, yes, that of course still applies. And I do find Martha, rushing about with the chores, more relatable in this instance.

What we are called to do, though, is think less about what Martha is doing and more about what Mary is doing. It’s always framed as a negative - she was not helping her sister, she was not doing what would have been most helpful in hosting their guests. But she was doing something - she was actively attending to Jesus by sitting with him - being with him - listening, and essentially following him in that moment. It is similar to our experience of being with God in prayer, now.

In this instance - as opposed to when you have your in-laws or neighbors or friends over - they were entertaining God himself, and Mary recognized that. That was my point in including it in the article. See it as such! Let go of the need to defend Martha and look at what Mary is, indeed, doing.

We need both Marthas and Marys, and we need to be both Martha and Mary. But there is a time and a place. Who knows, perhaps Jesus would have multiplied loaves or changed water into wine in order to allow Martha, too, to sit at his feet, and not work and worry. There, we have yet another opportunity to reflect on faith, and trust that God will provide.

So those are some additional thoughts for you. This reading will continue to challenge Christians through the ages, no doubt. But think about it in terms of the specific situation: and what it means to recognize, and therefore be, with Jesus.

And lastly: wishing you a blessed Feast of St. Francis! May all your dogs and cats and iguanas be blessed.