When contemplative prayer is hard

There is too much going on. Too much noise, too many violent images, too much to worry about. I realize that when I allow the “too much” to become what fills my mind, it leaves no room for what should be there - an always active seeking of God.

I have never found contemplative prayer hard, which I know is a great grace. Stillness and quiet for a long stretch of time do not bother me. I know people who are bothered by what they view as awkward silences, and I get it, because we are wired to believe that if we are not doing or creating, we are - wasting time? Could be doing something more useful, or fun? I think I used to be that way, but keeping a practice of contemplative prayer in the morning has made those little thoughts disappear over time. I am fine with awkward silences now. I notice, too, that I feel like I am missing something if I do not spend that time in prayer, even if I do so poorly.

Anyway, there is just too much happening in the country and our world, and I have allowed it to distract me, mentally. When you spend more time on Twitter than you do in prayer, something is off. When politics becomes your religion, it is time to reassess.

Avoidance of prayer - for whatever reason or excuse - can lead to other not-as-nice behaviors, too. Maybe rather than giving up a situation to God, I drink instead. Or eat junk food. Or scroll through Instagram.

All of this became clear this afternoon as I listened to an episode of Bishop Barron’s Word on Fire show from May 18, called “The Cataclysm Sentence.” A description of the episode:

One day in 1961, the famous physicist Richard Feynman stepped in front of a Caltech lecture hall and posed this question to a group of undergraduate students: “If, in some cataclysm, all of scientific knowledge were to be destroyed, and only one sentence was passed on to the next generation of creatures, what statement would contain the most information in the fewest words?”

The host asks Bishop Barron what he thinks various Biblical figures and members of the life of the Church would say in response to that question.

Eventually they get to Thomas Merton. Bishop Barron says that contemplation, to Merton, was, “Finding the place in you where you are here and now being created by God.”

He continues: “To pray is consciously to focus on the fact that all of this is coming forth from this gracious divine source. The water bubbling up in you to eternal life, as Jesus called it to the woman at the well. To pray is to attend to this truth.”

“All of us, Merton taught, quite rightly…every baptized person is called upon to be a contemplative, in that sense.”

So, Bishop Barron via Thomas Merton advises, we must find our center through this great act of contemplative prayer, which is available to everyone.

Think about that phrasing: “Finding the place in you where you are here and now being created by God.” I realize I think of me, and the people around me, as finitely created by God - we are all here, and now, and present, case closed. But now we have the argument that we are continually being created by God, when we meet Him in prayer. This is why it is imperative to meet Him there, so that he can continue His work in us, and so that we may understand what it is He has called us to do.

Especially, in the face of violence and destruction and sadness in this world we live in.