Not to work for, but to be with, Jesus

One of the things I remember from when I was going through the 9-months’ spiritual exercises of St. Ignatius, the “19th Annotation,”* was the first time I learned, at a particular place in the exercises, that Jesus wanted to be my friend.

Now, where I grew up, among many Protestants, this would have been a very familiar sentiment. Kind of cheesy and overstated, even. I think that’s why I didn’t think much about it, or take the time to believe it, and it never struck me as true. God is too far away, anyway.

The moment in the Exercises that brought this to life occurred during a period of meditation on Jesus’s passion. The language that day prompted me to “just be” with Jesus in his suffering. When I saw my spiritual director I asked him, what good does that do?

Well, he very patiently explained, if one of your close friends was suffering, do you think they would enjoy your company, to stay with them in their time of need?

And so the light bulb went off - OH! We mean quite literally that it is imperative to know Jesus intimately, with us, among us, one of us, a real person. A friend. It’s not symbolic.

I was reminded of that today in Bishop Barron’s daily Gospel reflection email. The Gospel today is Mark 2:13-17, wherein Matthew the tax collector is called to be a disciple. From Bishop Barron’s reflection:

“Matthew immediately got up and followed the Lord. But where did he follow him? To a banquet! ‘While he was at table in his house . . .’ is the first thing we read after the declaration that Matthew followed him. Before he calls Matthew to do anything, Jesus invites him to recline in easy fellowship around a festive table. As Erasmo Leiva-Merikakis comments, ‘The deepest meaning of Christian discipleship is not to work for Jesus but to be with Jesus.’””

The deepest meaning of Christian discipleship is not to work for Jesus, but to be with Jesus.

The Spiritual Exercises of St. Ignatius teach you to do this (if you are open to accepting the grace to do it). Through conversation with Jesus, through telling him what is on your heart, for trusting that what you desire is not too slight for Jesus to care about, too. And especially, for asking Jesus what his desire is for you. I have to remind myself of this often, and sometimes it is a matter of stepping back from “doing” - like turning down a volunteer commitment - and remembering that without prayer, without that time to just be with God, the active work is not quite as - strong. Like stained glass that could be brighter.

For those of us who are do-ers, the be-ing takes intention. Be-ing is a gift, too.

There’s a prayer for your weekend: Jesus, help me to just be with you. The image of St. John the Evangelist with his head over Jesus’s heart at the Last Supper is helpful.

*Named that for the note in his Spiritual Exercises book - the 19th annotated note - which said the prayer retreat could be completed, by lay people, in daily life, over several months, as opposed to over the course of a month in silence. Over the course of a month in silence is the usual course for priests and those in religious life completing the exercises.